We have a natural human tendency where we think there is always a bigger and better deal. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. The reason for this is we struggle to be grateful for what we have. In addition to that we always look for someone or something to save us. Be our savior. Im going to show you how see past that halo effect of new things, new situations, new jobs, new people or just new opportunities. Im not telling you to not go after new opportunities or new things. Im just going to show you how to think it over and see if the grass is truly greener on the other side of the fence.
We have a weird state of consciousness where we struggle to be appreciative for what we have in our life. Most look and think others have a better life or situation than their own. If only we could have something that makes our life better we could be just as happy as others. Im going to let you in on a secret. Very few people are really happy. I can look at someone in the eyes or just have a conversation with them and tell if the lights our on. Very few lights our on! The main reason for this is we as a human race struggle to get present to the moment.
As humans we have a default mode that has been programmed into us. It has been programmed since we were born by our parents, school, government, religion, friends, etc. We have this default mode straight out of our mothers womb. The default mode is there in case we don’t develop a higher level of consciousness that has a higher level of intelligence. This default mode is needed because very few develop a higher consciousness. The default mode is all about survival.
One big thing about that default mode is to look to the future for happiness. If you didn’t have this you would become static. We would all be like our stoner friends who just want to sit and smoke weed all day long. There would be no survival instinct in us. We would not go after our next meal, make money or meet other people. We would just sit around and be happy. The default mode is to make sure the species lives on. It is good that we have it. We always over value the things we invest in. That is why when you pay a lot of money for something you value the hell out of it. What we don’t do is enjoy what we have while we have it. We always want something bigger and better. It is good for us to keep moving forward, want to reproduce and have status, but it messes us up from being in the moment and realizing what we have.
What we have is a planet of people who eat the non-nutritional processed food that has a very bad impact on our brains and then we all live in a virtual world through our phones, computers and televisions. This all disconnects us from reality. With all this processed food and disconnect from Nature we feel inherently unhappy. We feel frustrated all the time. Marketing and politics use this discontent to get people to be scapegoats. If you are someone who is unhappy these politicians and marketers know that you will blame it on everything but yourself. They will focus your discontent on all the stuff you hate and blame that for the worlds problems. You agree and start doing what they want you to do. It is called manipulating your selective focus. If you feel this world sucks then your selective focus will look for all that sucks in this world.
We also all want the next shiny object. This shiny object could be the next best thing, other peoples approval, a better job, a new friend etc. Anything we think is better than what we already have. We are so sure that once we fill our desire we will be satisfied, but if we have not become conscious we will just end up wanting the next best thing. It is an endless loop. It is biological and the world we live in. This world can be heaven or hell. It is all up to you. No one else. Heaven is when we can appreciate what we have and bond with others. Hell is when we always have this feeling of lack or scarcity. The Magic happens when we can appreciate the present moment! Be in the present. Enjoy and take advantage of what is in front of you. As a soccer coach I see parents switching clubs for their children because they think the other club will be better. This happens all the time. Never mind that the kids only show up for games and miss a lot of practices. It has to be the clubs fault not ours. Then they go to another club and the kid never gets better. This is just a small example of wanting the next shiny object.
I realize you need to cut off toxic people and as you become more conscious you will repel some you know and attract new people. What this post is doing is putting a twist on that and having you do an audit on yourself. See if you are the problem. See if you are running on default mode. If you are unhappy and don’t quite know why, your mind just wants to change something. It is built right into your default mode. This is a base level operating system. You must get past it. Once you realize this operating system is running you then you can do something about it. You also need to understand that this default mode operating system is running everyone else. That operating system keeps them comfortable. They do not want to up grade themselves when being operated by this system. Once they see it is holding them back then they will start searching for truth.
You can not tell someone who is in default mode that they are running on a low level operating system. They must see it for themselves. If by some accident someone who is not consciously aware stumbled on this post, they will think its ridiculous and leave. If they are just testing the waters they may leave a bad comment or email, but Im not going to tell them they are stuck in their operating system. They must see it themselves. On the other hand those who are conscious shouldn’t shove it in the seekers face how upgraded or conscious they think they have become. The greatest leaders help others reach their goals by letting them do it for themselves. They lead by example. When the person is ready they will come to you and ask for help. They have to have an openness to change.
When we are discontent or feeling stuck we get into a low vibration energy. Low vibration energy is a parasite that wants to spread. So we treat others how we feel and at some point we hit the cliff and realize we have gone too far. You might yell at your spouse or child, send a nasty email or text to someone or just be rude to a person. After it happens you hit a point of clarity and say, “Why did I just do that?” When you have regrets you realize your mind has tricked you. Some will decide to mend the bridges they just burned, but most will just cut other people off because they are too proud to admit their own mind tricked them. These people will do the same thing over and over with new people because they have not dealt with that trauma. Their mind will keep tricking them into doing things over and over with different people until they deal with it. Everyone knows people like this, but can you see it in yourself. What tricks does your mind keep playing on you personally over and over?
We create boundaries when we are stuck in a low vibration energy. Something will happen that we don’t like and we don’t deal with it. We stick up a boundary. Then something else happens that we don’t like and we don’t deal with it. So we stick up another boundary. It will keep happening until we deal with the low vibration energy. The opposite of that is not having any personal boundaries then we just let anyone in. Im trying to get you to see how many boundaries you have. If you have a lot it could be you have issues that need dealt with. You will keep putting up boundaries until you deal with the trauma. The more boundaries you have the less synergy you will have with others. Most of the greatest things are made when people work together. Just look and see if the boundaries you have put up are because you are carrying around negative energy. When we hang on to negative energy it plays us or leaves us open for others to play us.
Im going to show you how to get past the halo effect, so you will not look outside of yourself for a savior. You can not really know a person until you have known them for months, they don’t need anything from you, until you are no longer the shiny object or until they no longer need love chemicals from you. You can’t really understand this in others until you understand it in yourself. When you meet a new significant other, you are both being pumped up or doped up on love chemicals in your brains. We literally get doped up when we meet someone new. We are also getting validation, new physical touch and we both have a new shiny object. Anyone can be in a good mood when this is going on. Problem is that you are not seeing the real person. You will not see the real person or they will not see the real you until you do not want something from each other.
We all have a default mode we go back too. When you meet someone new whether it’s a friend, lover, coworker, team mate, etc. We all have that new shiny object. There is no discontent with the new person so you get along. This is why after you have known a person for awhile or worked with them for awhile they change. They could be the sweetest person then you do something that does not give them validation and they go right back to their default mode. Some people are just rotten to the core. They are in a takers mindset. Some people are great to the core and are always in an expansive mindset. These people have great synergy with everyone. You are not going to know where someone is at until you know them for awhile.
When you see someone on the surface you are not seeing them. You are seeing the validation they are giving you. That is the halo effect. They are your next shiny object. That person is not their clothes or how attractive they are. Find out if they are expansive and giving. What is their default mode? Are they are someone who can think laterally and finds solutions? Do they take responsibility for their actions or do they blame others all the time? Do they interact well with others? How do they resolve conflict? How do they act in times of crisis? Are they in a victim mindset? Don’t just look at the surface of others. It really does not matter. What is important is looking at the deeper levels of character and how they have evolved.
Truth is most people are addicted to their default mode. They will seek others out to fulfill their default mode. Most are hanging on to trauma they have not dealt with and are addicted too feeling that trauma. People who have an abandonment trauma will seek you out, then poke at you to get you to abandon them. People who love to argue will seek you out, then poke at you to get you to argue with them. People always look to replay unresolved trauma from earlier in life. I know it sounds crazy, but that is our world. People are run by their trauma, paradigms, emotional states and maturity. That is what you need to look at when meeting others because that is what runs them. Is it running you too?
This is a huge question about are state of consciousness. You can always tell who the unconscious are because they act different in front of new people. The goal here is to deal with what I have just showed you in yourself. This lets the real you come out. When you let the real you come to the surface then you meet others who have been down the same road. It is because you are vibrating on the same level. Like attracts like. Can you feel gratitude for everything? When I say everything I mean everything. The good and the bad. Gratitude for your life. That gratitude is who you are. The way you treat others is a larger manifestation as to where you are at in consciousness. This post is a playbook so you can see what is going on in yourself and others. See past the new shiny object or halo effect and see where others are coming from. It will also help you find others on your level, so you can be synergistic with them.
I just want to let you know that I have gratitude for each and everyone of my readers. All of you mean a lot to me. If it wasn’t for you I could not write these posts. It is because of you that I write. Thank you for reading.