Conquering Your Gollum

I get questions like “Why do you share your knowledge?  What is in it for you?”  My answer to that is, “What is knowledge if no one else knows it or no one understands it?”  When I create my content I try to create it so everyone can understand.  I want to bring the world up with me.  That is what gives it meaning and context.  Me sitting alone in a room all quiet about what I know is just selfish.  When I discover new information, the first thing that comes to my mind is how can I share this with others.  

The world thinks we have to shove other people down in order to win.  Just look how the world tries to bring others down to make themselves look better instead of trying to bring others up so everyone wins.  I can tell which people are like this.  Look at them dead in the eyes, look at their pupils, look at the bags under their eyes.  They have a heaviness.    Anytime you are watching videos of people who are pulling others down, pause the video in spots.  The will have demonic faces.  Now take someone else who is bringing others up and pause the video a few times.  They will have funny or goofy looking faces. 

Most people can’t sit still for five minutes.  They can’t be alone with their thoughts.  Just sit still with no phone or other distractions for five minutes.  Most can not do it.  Everyone designs their life to avoid the voice in their head.  Car stereo playing all the time, music playing when we work out, phone in our face all the time, television on when we are home, etc.  When we sit in silence all the negative things start to surface.  I call that voice Gollum.  It is very uncomfortable.  It calls you bad names, tells you that you are worthless, tells you to screw the world, tells you very hateful things about yourself and others, brings up past trauma in your life, it tells you that you are not good enough, that everyone else has it easy, that you are ugly, etc.  We all have that voice.  When are you going to make a decision to make the shift to change the attitude of that voice?   

Take responsibility and deal with Gollum.  Just ignoring it or trying to drowned it out with the outside noise is suppressing it.  When you suppress it you are just coping with yourself.  When you bring it to the surface and deal with it, you can begin to thrive.  Our music is all about drugs, alcohol, partying and winning.  The reason why it is so popular is because everyone is suppressing.  In the paradigm of self sabotage or self hate we think we need something to fight against it.  It is why self help is so popular.  We spend a ton of energy fighting it.  When we could just get to the point where there is no self sabotage or self hate and use the energy for thriving.  If you have the wrong map, no matter how hard you work you will never find your destination.  We have had the wrong map our entire lives.  People do not want to accept this because the more work you have put into something the less you will be willing to let it go.  We want to rationalize why we have been right our whole life.  

I see the potential in people.  It is why I put these maps and pieces out for all who are willing or open to reading a new map and begin to put the pieces together.  I don’t know exactly what people lives will be like, but I can look into the eyes of most and see it is not good.  I can see where the world is heading.  The direction it is heading.  My work is structured to mess with the ego and is designed to do two things for the people who read it.  It will either make them bitter or better.  A person is either going to make a whole new ego and go into victim mentality because the ego loves being a victim.  It creates separation, it creates a form based identity as the biggest victim.  Victim identity separates you and makes you greater than everyone else.  You are the bigger victim. You have been victimized more.   Or a person is going to use my work as a tool to help erode the ego.  They will recognize what they were attached too and the heaviness of it.  They will move into the light.  They will move up into genuine joy.  They will get better.  We are here to live life fully.  Not to hide from it.  You are not separate from the world.  

Inside you is a split world.  The person you want to be and the person you suppress.  We all have this split inside of us.  We are attached to an idea of ourselves and all the stuff that we think is bad we disown.  We think that many of the material things we want or the approval we seek will make us happy.  In reality it is driven by this split that we have.  Going after all the material things and approval makes us feel heavy.  It is the ego that makes us seek so many things.  We think that succeeding will make us happy, free and light, but it really reinforces the heaviness.  When the thing you crave is taken away from you then you have a chance to move up and become lighter.  

What happens is when we get some new material thing, meet a new lover or get validation we get a halo effect temporarily.  We feel we are on top of the world and can be ourselves.  This actually is hijacking our happiness.  We think that if we don’t have those things we can’t experience that lightness, freedom or ease of experiencing life.  I know a lot of wealthy or powerful people and their lives are very heavy.  People think that if I could just get this or that, it would make me happy.  If I could just get a very attractive partner, it would make me happy.  If I could just get approval.  What people don’t realize is that when you get those things you spend an insane amount of time and energy to just hold on to them.  You want to preserve it and the ego goes into defense mode.  You have to have the precious!  It runs you.  You start to push others down to make yourself look better. You have to buy or get things for your happiness.  This is what I mean by when the things you seek get taken away or you lose them it is a chance to move up and become lighter.  What has been taken away from you to help you move up?   The truth in life is the knowledge you gain from a loss.  Loss of possession, lover, reputation or loss of anything the ego is attached too.  People who never go through a process of losing never learn.  They avoid that process because the weight of it is too heavy to bear.  People who have gone through losses have a lightness about them after they have gone through it.  It brings authenticity to their life.  Let that which is not true fall away and you will gain a better life.  

If you have big goals, life will test the hell out of you to see how serious you really are about reaching those goals.  If your fears are coming true and things are not going as planned, don’t  get depressed and down on yourself.  Realize that life understands you have big plans and it is testing you to make sure you really want it.   It is making sure you are serious and you realize those lessons.  Look back on your life and think about things that have been taken from you. Did you learn the lesson and move up?  If you didn’t, life will come back with a bigger bubble to burst.  If you don’t learn it with the small ones it will keep coming back bigger and bigger until you eventually get it.  Let go of the heaviness of attachment.  Let go of the ego and move up.  Look at those losses in life.  Did you just start drinking more, medicate yourself or throw yourself into your work to ignore it and pump up the ego or did you learn from it and take that opportunity to grow?  

Im not telling you to give up everything in live like a monk or hermit.  I’m saying you were not born to be idle or static.  No one was born to stay in the same place their whole life.  If that was the case we would never learn and we would just die rather quickly.  You are here to experience the world!  Experience the world from your own point of view that is different from all other experiences.  When you let go,  that is when you can finally experience and enjoy life in this material realm.  We become so attached to feeling a certain way and resist feeling another way that we don’t enjoy our emotions.  That is also the ego keeping us from experiencing our emotions.  Let your emotions come and go like weather.  Let yourself feel.  Our relationship with are feelings is saturated, so is our relationship with everything material and wanting approval.  It is all saturated until you let go of that attachment and then everything changes.  You start seeing others for who they truly are because you begin to see who you truly are.  You see the world for what it truly is.  

One of the ways you will see how you have changed is in your relationships.  Most people view their partner as their own extension.  Their partner is really part of their own ego.  They think their partner completes them.  They don’t even see them as human or a person.  What they are experiencing is not really love.  It is pure attachment.  When you have let go of attachment you will actually love your partner.  If you don’t let go of that attachment you might have to go through losing them then finding someone else and seeing who they truly are.  Learn from your losses and move up through dropping the attachment to all things ego.  Handle your Gollum before he makes you chase attachments into a fiery, lava filled volcano that there is no coming back from.